Stephanie Meyer gives me blue balls...

In a 'round about way.... I finally went to go see Twilight: New Moon. I thought I would see it in the theater, before it made it's way to DVD, just in case it was one of those movies I regretted not seeing in a theater. Well, I'm still not sure about that one.
I have read all of the Twilight books. My main problem with the books, is that the author, Stephenie Meyer, didn't put any smut in them. I'm not saying that I need copious amounts of coital activity in the 'romance' novels that I may read, but come on, there wasn't any in these books. Sure, there is a ton of sexual frustration amongst the characters, and there is sex in the last book, but you never actually read anything about it, other than you assume the deed has been done, because the sheets are shredded, there are feathers all over from the ripped pillows, and the main character is pregs, but you never read one bit of 'sex'.
In the second book, there is a scene where Bella and Jacob kiss. In the movie, Jacob gets denied and all I could think was "Poor Jacob. He's 16, hormonal, and just found out that he can morph into a wolf at any given time, and his best friend is Bella, who is nothing more than a huge tease. Poor Jacob, he must have a major case of blue-balls." And, that is the only thing I could think of the rest of the movie. I understand that the author has morals, and didn't feel it necessary to add a bunch of descriptive smut. I'm sure she just thought that we could use our own imaginations, and come up with the missing throws of passion ourselves. In most vampire books and movies, there are loads of scenes where normal mortals are privy to some vampire lovin, and that is just fine by me. I just can't understand why she couldn't give us a little bit of actual boot-knockin. I like Stephenie Meyer, I've met her and have a few books with her autograph, but seriously!
For the most part, I definitely liked New Moon better than Twilight. The cinematography had more depth, better camera angles, and the screenplay was more similar to the book and easy to follow than Twilight. I liked the 3D wolves and the wispy visions of Edward. Speaking of Edward, I did notice that he cannot talk and move at the same time. It never really seemed like he was ever moving and talking simultaneously. He would move, stop, talk, stop talking, and then move. And, he always seemed like he was in pain when he talked. Bella has her own quirks. She always seems uncomfortable and low on oxygen, and cold. She's really stuttery, and it's almost likes she's trying not to vomit as she speaks. But, Kristen Stewart is like that in real life. She seems so uncomfortable during interviews and is always fidgeting with her hair or nails, and can't seem to make eye contact with the person interviewing her. It's painful to watch. And, there were the infamous scenes of Jacob taking his shirt off, which made everyone in the theater laugh.
New Moon was alright. A fun movie about teen angst, love triangles and hot werewolves showing their abs, and getting blue-balls. But, if you feel you got jipped in the department of vamp-lovin', I suggest checking out True Blood on HBO, or reading the books the show is based off of, the Sookie Stackhouse series from Charlaine Harris... where vampires have fangs and get busy with mortals, and you don't have to assume there was smut.

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